Added: Sesar Colyer - Date: 11.02.2022 14:35 - Views: 41288 - Clicks: 9897
My girlfriend quit smoking before I started dating her. But recently she picked it back up because she's been stressed at work and with her family. I'm really upset, I don't really know why Girlfriend started smoking again it's really affecting me. I think part of it is that she's been doing it behind my back.
I only recently found out because she's getting a vape. I don't really know what to say to her. I told her she shouldn't smoke. But what real good can that do. Obviously she knows. I told her she could talk to me if she is having problems, and that she doesn't need to resort to any substance.
Idk if there's anything else I could do. Smoking is one of the hardest to beat addictions there is. We know how bad it is for us, most of us have watched older relatives die of smoking related illness. We know that people hate it and many will hate us simply because we smoke. We keep smoking anyway, because we're addicts. You need to get over being upset that she did it "behind your back," that's just how it is when you have an addiction people don't approve of.
You Girlfriend started smoking again to yourself and say that you can just have one or two cigarettes to level you out, and that'll be it, and then before you know it you're back to two packs a day and you know that everyone's going to give you shit for it so you try to hide it because you don't want to be yelled at or guilted. There's nothing you can do here. Either she'll quit again, or she won't.
You can try to be supportive, it might work, it might not, and if it doesn't and you get frustrated with her that's only going to make her want to smoke more and build up resentment against you. So basically, you have to decide if it's deal-breaking or not. If it is, then break up with her, but don't do the "if you don't quit we'll break up" ultimatum, as that will only further reinforce the need to smoke behind your back. It sounds like she's not ready to give the nicotine up but she's at least trying to make a compromise for her health and others' by vaping. Put yourself in her shoes.
People use drugs all the time for all sorts of reasons. Alcohol is a drug. Caffine is Girlfriend started smoking again drug. Smoking isn't ideal but if you know how it works it's not an unreasonable form of dealing with stress.
Using a vaporizer is at least a step up. But right now you need to support her. Not judge her and be upset with her means of coping. Ideally she should have better ways to cope but there are also much worse things she could be doing. For now, addressing the sources of stress and reducing stress is probably best. Different perspectives, different mindsets, giving less fucks, perhaps a different job, etc For instance, smokers actually show MORE stress than non-smokers Just look up the literature on the topic, and you'll find dozens of things like this. The problem with an evidence approach is that most people just don't want to hear contradictory information, and even if you give them good reasons they'll often refuse out of defensiveness anyways.
If you want to stay with her, just make sure she knows you don't approve and give her compelling reasons why. She'll probably come around after getting addicted and express dissatisfaction that you can use to help her quit.
A patient, non-confrontational approach basically. Smoking is one of those things, man. We've supposedly killed the problem, but if you actually try reasoning with active smokers you'll see how utterly insane many of these people and how powerful addiction is on the brain. There's pity on on hand, and on the other outright incredulity. You can't do anything to change her behavior. Do not give her an ultimatum: You quit or I leave. Not for how you hope you can make her or what you hope to change her into.
She knows you don't like that she's doing it and that she was trying to hide it from you. She knows it's not healthy for her, and I'd hope she knows how harmful it is to fetal development if she ever decides to become pregnant.
It's a bit long, but give it a read, I've saved this comment because as a smoker this is the best way I can explain why I smoke:. Here's the thing that no one ever tells you about smoking: Smoking is the best thing in the whole world No lies.
It is the BEST thing. It creates a problem and it solves it. It is like winning the lottery fifteen times a day. I knew about heroin. I knew about cocaine. I knew heroin would feel like the best orgasm I've ever had times a thousand. I knew cocaine would make me feel sexier than Girlfriend started smoking again but also like, if I got in a fight with god, Girlfriend started smoking again would win. I knew X would make every weekend better so long as I had it. Good things are good until you don't have them and then life sucks beyond the telling of it.
I Girlfriend started smoking again a handle on that. The only thing people told me about cigarettes was how much they sucked. Kissing a smoker was like licking an ashtray. They'll rob you blind. You'll die early. You'll smell bad. You'll talk through a hole in your throat. I watched them slowly march my father closer to death. Don't smoke Here's the problem: if cigarettes are so nasty and terrible you have nothing to worry about. Have one. Have another. You'd never be stupid enough to fall into that trap, right? You can be that magic unicorn that can just have one socially with your friends, right?
After all, people who get hooked get hooked before they turn 18 and you're nineteen so you're past the cutoff? Plus you're so smart! You'd never do something as dumb as getting addicted to the Girlfriend started smoking again, most loserish drug on the market, right? It's never going to be you. Because smoking seems so innocuous. It's just one cigarette The first time you don't like it and it was as awful as you were expecting and you're Girlfriend started smoking again disarmed for what's coming for you. Then it's a long weekend of drinking in college and your friends smoke and they keep going outside to do so and you get curious again or you want to be "in" and the first one did NOTHING do you have the second.
Then the eighth. And then it's only on the weekends. And then it's only while you drink. You kind of know, in the back of your head, that you want them but you'd have to be stupid remember? You're crazy smart and good at life and you know all the facts and you'd never be that. Here's where it gets serious: something terrible happens.
You get broken up with, your dog gets hit by a car, you fail a class, something goes to hell in a hand basket. So you reward yourself with this self-destructive thing. Just for now. Just because this shitty thing has befallen you. So you go and buy some and you feel dirty doing it but feeling dirty is part and parcel with the shitty thing that happened.
And you feel like an adult. And you feel like you're coping even though you're doing anything but. Cigarettes are the best part of your day. The feeling of wanting one and then getting one is straight up euphoria.
In a world of turmoil and despair, they become your favorite life raft. They make everything better, they make everything that sucks immediately suck less. You know you're sinking, and you will do nothing. You'll suddenly come to the realization that you've become a smoker how the fuck did that happen? Because the best part of your day is this shitty, expensive, debilitating thing.
It's like having a crush on someone who doesn't love you back or having a really arrogant Girlfriend started smoking again friend. You love them all the more for how much the situation sucks. At some point you realize you have to quit but you can't. Shitty things keep happening. Your job sucks, your relationship sucks, your classes suck.
Finals are coming, your taxes are due, your friend is imploding in front of your face. You'll feel like your whole life is caving in and then you have a smoke and you're fine again. For twenty minutes. And twenty minutes is really all you need Until that time passes and you need it again. Girlfriend started smoking again in the back of your head you are RANTING at yourself about how dumb this is and how much you hate yourself for being this person but the pleasure, the relief, drowns it out. You don't get it.
You can't. If you never went down Girlfriend started smoking again rabbit hole, it won't make sense to you. If you have gone down the rabbit hole, it won't really make sense either. But you will get why you do it to a certain extent. We all made the decision to never smoke.
Some of us just fucked it up without meaning to. It was not all at once or with intention. It just happens. All the health facts and scary stories in the world won't change it. The thing that will change it is arming people with the foreknowledge that smoking is the best thing ever.
That's what would have saved me. I've quit for two years and that's great, but I'm still not over it. It's still a thing for me. If you don't get it, be GLAD not arrogant. It could have easily been you. Now, as to what you can do? That's the thing, there really isn't much you can do.Girlfriend started smoking again
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How to start smoking (again)